Thursday, November 10, 2011

From July Eighteenth Two-Thousand Eleven

Hope For Now

So, here I am. Lying in bed at 2:01 in the morning, listening to City and Colour, not being able to sleep. My brain is going crazy, and won’t let me sleep. Quite frankly, it’s the pits.

I can’t stop thinking about Boise. I can’t stop thinking about how I need to find a job. How I need to find a place to live. How my dad is moving to Everett, Washington in less than a month, and I’ll be on my own. I’m trying to let it not bother me, but I can’t. I’m trying to make myself believe that I’m not freaking out on the inside and I’ve got this all figured out.

But I don’t. The other thing that is extremely hard in this, is that I need to trust God more. Sure, I can say I trust God in this situation, but saying and doing are two different things here. I’m just such a control freak, it’s so hard for me to trust Him. It’s hard for me to trust other people in this situation, let alone trusting someone I can’t even see. AND I’m stressed. Doesn't help.

I know I need to give this over to the Lord. I know I do.  Isaiah 26:4 is a verse I really need to keep in the back of my head right now.

"Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal.”

It’s such a simple, but strong verse. Trust in the Lord FOREVER. And I love that they say the LORD twice. I think it’s rad.

But I will just be praying about this more and more and trying to give this to God. I know eventually I will. It’ll just take some time.

ryann catherine

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