Sunday, February 12, 2012

We Found Each Other In The Dark


It's something that has been in discussion a lot lately with my friends. I kinda knew what it was. Well, I really only knew that the couple was set to get married, but didn't date, or something like that. So I asked, and was told the short version of it. That two people know they are going to get married, but don't technically date. The man doesn't lavish and woo the woman with money and gifts and buying her dinner all that jazz. That they never really hang out alone, for fear of getting physical, or when they did, they just would set precise boundaries, of doing nothing. Which totally makes sense to me. But I still wanted to know more so I got on the trusty interweb and googled my heart out.

I found lots of websites that all gave a slight different information, but the basis was all still the same. But from what information I did find out, I don't want to date anymore. I was a boy to court me. It just, quite frankly, makes a thousand times more sense. Because obviously society is doing something wrong with how high the divorce rate is. Dating honestly doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah, I've dated. I had two boyfriends. But looking back and really thinking about them, it just doesn't work, for me at least. I mean, dating does work for some people, and good for them. That's awesome. I just know I can't.

The biggest part of dating that ruins the relationship, is the physicality of it. Being physical can make so many things go wrong. You can become blinded by it, you think you're in love with the person because you're doing things sexually with them. The expectations from both sides, the peer and personal pressure from it, the battle going on between your morals and your hormones. I know so many girls who regret having sex before they were married. Who regret doing more than they wanted to before marriage. I know I have done things that I wanted to save for my husband, but I can't change them, so I learn and grow from them and more on.

Also infatuation. Oh heavens infatuation. So many people just get so infatuated with their significant other. And infatuation is blinding. Your "love" becomes a fog when you should be seeing the warning signs. I think it might be a reason marriages fail. They are just so in love and infatuated that they don't see the bad things about the person, the things they can't live with, don't like. And then after the honeymoon period the fog clears, it's bright as day, and they can look back and see what they missed. I could be wrong, but its just a thought.

 So, I have been blinded by infatuation and thought I was in love with someone because of physical acts, yes. So I thought to myself, why on earth would I consider just doing the same thing over and over again with boys when I know what the outcome for me is most likely going to be? It seems pretty dumb and ignorant of myself if I did continue. So that's why I decided I want to court.

Because friendship comes first.
Because you truly, truly get to know the person, see who they are without it being foggy because of sexual acts.
Because most of all, God, comes first.

I've always said that I want my husband to be in love with God first, and then me. And that I am the same. That God comes before my husband. It's pretty hard to have God be in the center of the relationship when I'm fooling around with my significant other and feeling guilty about it.

I want to read the Bible with him.
I want us to have debates.
I want us to help each other grow closer to God, not hinder it.

Now, my problem is finding a boy to court with, haha. I think it will happen. I'm going to start praying for my future husband a lot. And not like a for like, "for God to show me who he is and blah blah blah" but for him how I would anyone I know. I think my future hubby deserves it. And I can only hope he's praying for me also. :)

But in conclusion...
Courting > Dating

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